Carol Weisman, author of Raising Charitable Children (F.E. Robbins & Sons Press, 2006), says that "When I heard my youngest son say his first word--'Donalds,' short for McDonald's--I knew I was in trouble....He could barely walk, yet already Jono was latching onto the consumerist, 'gimme-gimme' mindset....I could see that some major values education was needed--otherwise, my angelic, golden-haired child was going to turn into a materialistic, selfish little brat."
Weisman's children turned out just fine, in part due to the actions she took, and now laid out in her book. Here is her advice.
1. Start them young.
Weisman says that youngsters as young as three or four understand giving and caring. They often comfort each other and usually have enough verbal skills to discuss what they like, what they care about, and how they want to help others.
2. Help your child decide where to donate.
Ask your child, "What did you enjoy doing this past year?" Or, "What makes you happy?" Any answer can be made relevant to giving. For instance, if the child says, "I like to watch TV," you can talk about programs such as Sesame Street and how they rely on donations from people like your family.
3. When a charity has been chosen, make a personal visit to it.
Yes, the Internet has all kinds of opportunities but a young child will benefit from going to the charity itself. Call the charity and tell them what you would like to do. They will, in all likelihood, be delighted to help make the occasion of your child's gift, however small, a memorable event.
4. Start with small donations.
A child is more likely to understand a few dollars better than $100. You might start with a token amount of $20 or less and then increase it over the years. One good idea for a birthday is to pick a percentage of the cost of the party to donate to the child's favorite charity. For instance, if you spent $50 on the cake and favors, you could donate half of that, or $25, to charity.
5. Think outside the money box.
Checks and even cash is fairly abstract, especially for a small child. Perhaps food donated to a shelter at the holidays would be appropriate...either canned goods or a bunch of sandwiches the child can help make.
6. Increase involvement as the child grows older.
For a small child, visiting the charity and giving money to a staff member; or putting a stamp on an envelope and mailing it at the post office might be enough. Later, though, children can use the phone and the Internet to do research on charities to find ones they like.
7. Make memories of your child's charitable acts.
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Start a scrapbook for donations and record the details of what the child gave and to whom. Include a photo of his visit to the charity, her birthday party where she donated a percentage of the cost, or of the plate of sandwiches that went to the shelter. Video would be great as well. You could even interview the child about why she gave the gift and what it meant to her.
There is much, much more in Raising Charitable Children, including many ideas for different ages; how to have a "joy and sadness" meeting with older children to help them decide how to be charitable; how grandparents can turn gifts for or from their grandchildren into lessons of charity; and how to put together a group volunteer project for your child and his friends.
